New Post

Hey there,

I've been thinking a lot about something that's become a bit of a modern epidemic: the compulsion to prove ourselves worthy of love, acceptance, or even basic respect. It's something I've wrestled with personally - this notion that my happiness was just around the corner of someone else's approval. But, let's be real, that path leads to disappointment, a lack of self-respect, and an unhealthy dependence on others.

This isn't just about friendships; it spills over into our romantic relationships too. We often build our connections on this shaky foundation of people-pleasing, under the misguided belief that if we stop catering to others' whims, the relationship will crumble. Sinead O'Connor nailed it when she said, "You can't please everyone." When you're too caught up in living by others' standards, you're not investing enough in your own.

Now, Gen Z, you guys have really felt the brunt of this. We've crafted our identities around this idea, wearing masks that dictate if our favorite influencer does something, we feel obliged to follow suit. But here's the kicker - this road leads to unhappiness, misery, or what some might call depression. And it doesn't stop there; it can veer into addiction. I'm not just talking about the usual suspects like porn, drugs, or alcohol. Food addiction is a real deal, contributing significantly to global obesity.

Here's some food for thought from the Olympic Behavior Health website: the global prevalence of food addiction stands at about 20%. Moreover, eating disorders have seen a sharp rise from 3.5% in 2000 to about 9% in 2023. That's a conversation starter right there.

Key Takeaways:

- Self-Worth isn't Earned: Your value doesn't depend on others' approval. You're enough as you are.

- People-Pleasing is a Trap: Relationships built on this are fragile. Real connections require mutual respect, not just one-sided effort.

- Identity Over Imitation: Craft your personality based on your values, not on what's trending or who you follow online.

- Addiction Awareness: Recognize that addiction can come in many forms, including food, which has significant health implications worldwide.

Mental Matters hosted by Asekho Toto

I hosted a podcast about mental health here is the link and I am also an author myself 

What to expect this week

Monday

Mary Beth Schrudder is  a Spiritual Life Coach and creator of addiction recovery with law of attraction. An inspiration for today’s newsletter. We spoke about addiction, people pleasing and toxic relationships

Wednesday

Deanne Newton is a Functional Medicine PA and Nutritionist and Creator of Nourish to Flourish Coaching Program through our conversation we spoke about nutrition, micro biome and how we have disruptive habits when it comes to food.

Friday

Tasha Darwent is the Founder of Resilient Grace and Expert in Holistic Health and Integrative Healing. Believe me when I say you will blown away what she has to say about holistic health and what is means to heal.

Much love

Asekho Toto